| <3 |
[08 Jan 2006|01:57pm] |
|
wow, so i haven't updated this thing in forever. who thinks i should?
|
|
|
[12 Oct 2005|12:29pm] |
Hm. A good couple of days it has been, and a good few it shall be. Where to begin, where to begin...
Logically I suppose we would find our selves at my Aunt's house for the festive meal on the first night of Rosh Hashannah. Fast forward through two days of long hours spent in shul, lots of eating, prolonged naps, and family board games and then we come to two more days of school, and then the weekend.
Friday afternoon I got home from school and then went to the mall to by bras and then I got a couple of wifebeaters and a belt. Yeah, good stuff. That night I did all my homework and watched Degrassi [really goodshow btw]. Saturday morning my whole family went to shul for Kyle's bar mitzvah. It was a really nice synagogue actually -- the sanctuary was beautiful and it was jsut really nice in general. The services took a really long time though.
After that my family came home, and then we got ready and went to the bar mitzvah party, which was also really nice. It was fancy and in a nice shul, and the other people there were pretty cool. Since Derek used to go to Schechter with me a couple of people from our grade were there, but not many, which was actually pretty good. Wayne was there so I hung out with him for a lot of the time. One of the best parts about black tie bar mtizvahs is that you get to wear fancy clothes, and since we are most likely never going to see most of the people there again, we were able to just dance like nobody was watching. Cliche, I know, but still a lot of fun.
Sunday morning I had driver's ed, as usual. Then I went back to the mall to pick up my coat. After some arguments with the parental units, I went into Great Neck to visit my lover A.Zuckkkkkk. I lover her. It was like us living our post-wheels dream -- hanging out in town and eating edamame. Amazing times. After we ate enough Japanese food to feed a couple of third-world countries, we were wandering the streets and we looked into a Starbucks and there was Alexis! Ahh it was amazing to see her as well. It was so random and unplanned and awesome... I swear we hugged each other SO many times.
Oh man, I love wheels people.
Monday and tuesday were regular back to school days. We shouldn't have had school on Columbus Day. First of all, Solomon Schechter is located in America, and I think it's appropriate to respect the man who suposedly discovered America. And sesondly... no, I have nothing, but still.
***
There is something romantic about this weather. The dark skies, the dirzzling rain, thunder and lightning. It makes me think of movies and books, and lots of other things. These sorts of days are the ones when I think the most.
Oh how the thoughts pour down like the raindrops...
hugs&kisses,
Shira
|
|
| Color Quiz |
[11 Oct 2005|07:34pm] |
Free personality analysis of shiralicious.
Generated on Tue Oct 11 16:38:05 2005.
shiralicious's Existing Situation
Trying to improve her position and prestige. Dissatisfied with her existing circumstances and considers some improvement essential to her self-esteem.
shiralicious's Stress Sources
Resists any form of pressure from others and insists on her independence as an individual. Wants to make up her own mind without interference, to draw her own conclusions and arrive at her own decisions. Detests uniformity and mediocrity. As she wants to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions, she find it difficult to admit to being wrong, while at times she is reluctant to accept or understand another's point of view.
shiralicious's Restrained Characteristics
Willing to become emotionally involved as she feels rater isolated and alone. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense, though she tries to avoid open conflict.
shiralicious's Desired Objective
Strives for a life rich in activity and experience, and for a close bond offering sexual and emotional fulfillment.
shiralicious's Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.
shiralicious's Actual Problem #2
Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts.
Take the ColorQuiz yourself right now!
I'm a big fan of these sorts of things. I saw this on Jen's page, and naturally felt compelled to do it. Very interesting results. I promise a real entry later.
|
|
|
[03 Oct 2005|10:37am] |
The past couple have days have been really awesome. After tests and tons of homework during the week, I arrived in at the Great Neck Youth House at 4:30 Friday afternoon for Chazak General Board weekend. I love board weekend -- it's one of the most chill, and generally awesome USY events I have ever been to. We did programs and what not until we had to get ready for shabbat. I led Kabbalat Shabbat. Mhmm. I also did Haftorah on Saturday morning and read Torah saturday afternoon. Good stuff.
Altogether, board weekend was a way cool bonding experience. I got closer with so many people, which is awesome. Saturday night Pam and I had our first talk with Eddie about Kinnus!! Ahhh I can't wait. All of you people who are reading this [which is likely to number in at approximately 0] had best be coming. <3
Sunday morning I got up for Driver's ed, and after that I went to a college fair thingy at Nassau Colliseum. I hate those things. It's really stressful actually having to think about schools. My number one school hasn't even been at the two I've been to, which kind of annoys me, but whatever. I've found some interesting things. I have no idea what I want to do with my future. But that shall be saved for a different journal entry.
Oh, I saw Sam M. at the college fair. It was cute.
Last night, I went to Danielle's sweet 16, and I had an amazing time. I didn't realize how much I missed the people from Usdan. Seeing all of the old school people, and then all of the new people was kind of weird but it was so much fun. I saw all of these people who I really hadn't seen in quite a long time. Unfortunately given the atmosphere of a party it was not ideal for catching up, but seeing certain people's reactions to seeing Ariel and I there was kind of funny. While some people did not recognize me [which was a tad disheartening], others were like forzen in shock and ran up and hugged me. It was so good to see some people. I hadn't seen many for a LONG time, and I was so lucky to really have a chance and talk with Dani, Ally, and Kim. I miss those girls already... I want to see them all in the VERY near future. Hopefully friday, lol. No but seriously, I need to stay in touch with these girls. We're close when we see each other, but we need to make sure it happens more often.
I have an extreme mix of emotions from last night too. But alas, I have some homework and cleaning to do before Rosh Hashannah starts, so I have to go take care of that and either update later or after the chag.
Shannah tovah u'metukah!!
<33 Shira
|
|
|
[27 Sep 2005|10:54pm] |
Steven's comment on my previous entry has encouraged my to take a few minutes out of my ridiculous work load and update. What's up Steve.
Encampment was great. Start of school? Not so great.
I'm not a fan of the social situation at school, nor am I a fan of the ridiculous amounts of work I need to do or even the people in general. I'm taking way hard classes with teachers who don't realize that we have other classes and also need to sleep.
I like most of my courses though, I love my wheels friends, and I love usy. Yay for things that make me happy while I am severely deprived of sleep and am getting ulcers from stress.
Ughhh APUSH test tomorrow. Off to study even more.
<3
*So long, and good night.
|
|
|
[04 Sep 2005|02:25am] |
Wow, it has been an incredibly long time since I last updated. I got home from Wheels on August 11th, and then left again for encampment on August 24, and I should have updated then, but a lot had happened and a lot has changed, so I ended up not being able to. It is about 2:30 in the morning here now, so I won't be too long, but I am promising a nice long entry about Wheels, Encampment, the time between Wheels and Encampment, and just everything else that has been going on.
I have missed you all greatly. How have your summers been going?
<33 Much love.
|
|
|
[26 Jun 2005|12:48am] |
Hey everyone,
I'm leaving for the summer, meaning I won't be active for a while. I hope to post lots when I get back.
I'm sorry for not commenting much lately, with the stress of finals and what not, and now I'm leaving until mid-August. So please keep me as a friend and I'll be back to normal when I'm home!
Hope you all have a great summer.
<3 Shira
|
|
|
[21 Jun 2005|09:37pm] |
My great aunt died three hours ago.
She's in a better place.
|
|
|
[18 Jun 2005|03:56pm] |
I don't feel like studying for the quickly approaching finals and regents I have, so I can update! Woohoo.
So a lot has actually happened since my last real entry. I suppose I can start by announcing the new EMJC USY chapter board:
President: Yours truly <3
IA: Jason Gul
REC: Mikey Garfinkle
SA/TO: Melissa Preminger
MEM/KAD: Aimee Steinmetz
COMM: Rachel Goldner
This year is going to be incredible.. for any of you reading this, I am honestly so excited to work with all of you. Our board meeting went superbly, and hopefully we can put everything into action that we talked about. I love you all.
So yeah, we had our first board meeting on Sunday June 5, after I took the SAT II's. I took the World History exam, and I must say, they were quite difficult. I'm hoping that if I take three better ones next year, they won't look at the score. Not that I know what I got yet, but yeah.
I'M ON BUS G THIS SUMMER! I got my bus list at some point in the past few weeks, and I must say that our bus is amazing. Jen - we're together! I'm so excited to spend this summer with you. I can tell we will be great friends, and I can't wait to meet you and get to know you better.
This summer will be incredible. I can't wait! Only 8 more days. I leave on the 26th.
I'm trying to think of things that have been going on recently. Unfortunately this entry is not so coherent, nor is it overly insightful, but rather just an update on what's going on in my life right now.
Ok, thought of something. My aunt had her hip-replacement surgery a few weeks ago. She's never going to be the same. She is completely out of it. I haven't seen her yet because I haven't had time to go and visit due to the massive amounts of schoolwork I've had lately, but my mother and grandparents say she is not doing well. She can't really express herself anymore, and can no longer feed herself either. Apparently she has mittens on so she can't pull the tubes out of her arms and neck, but she has figured out how to take off the mittens and has pulled the tubes and everything out on multiple occaisions.
She doesn't want to live anymore. She seems to be destined to die in a hospital bed, literally strapped down so she can't just kill herself. It's really sad.
The doctors and the rest of my family don't think she'll live much longer. I'm afraid she'll die before I get to say goodbye to her, or while I'm away this summer. If I can't get a flight back home, I won't be able to go to the funeral.
I don't know anything about her. I don't know about her hopes, her dreams, her childhood -- anything.
Ok, can't write about this anymore. Too upsetting.
But yes, the summer is soon, and all of the business with school will be over. Then, I'm off to tour the country!
So soon.
B'Ahava,
Shira
|
|
|
[15 Jun 2005|09:32pm] |
Haven't updated in forever. I've had tons of work. I shouldn't even be updating now.. I have to finish a research project for tomorrow and study for two finals! Oyyy save me.
Much love.
|
|
|
[20 May 2005|10:41pm] |
BRIEF UPDATE:
I promise that an entry about Convention will be up soon. Scout's honor.
My Aunt broke her hip, and I think it's kind of funny in a sick, warped way.
But, uh yeah. I have tons of work this weekend :(
Leave love?
<3
|
|
|
[16 May 2005|12:11pm] |
Got back from Regional Convention (RC) yesterday. I'm sick today. Yuck.
I'm going to write a loooooong entry about it later, but I don't feel good and I have a lot of work to do.
New METNY Regional Board:
President: Jeff Horowitz
IA: Leora Londy
REC: Jordan Soffer
SA/TO: Justin Turnofsky
Mem/Kad: Marc Epstein
Communications: Jon Alter
Chazak Divisional Board:
President: Brian Steinmetz
IA: Jenna Brofsky
REC: Ariel Siegel
SA/TO: Shari Farberman
Mem/Kad: Marisa Mittleman
Communications: Sam Guzik
Congratulations to the new and old boards! Last year was amazing, and this year will be too <3
Anyone who knows the other boards, do post.
Until later,
Shira
|
|
|
[08 May 2005|12:53am] |
Skyblue7689: hey its shira, the fabulous twin who might be going on wheels with you this summer!
i amSAM i am7104: hey shira
i amSAM i am7104: this is sam the guy with no twin n who might be goin on wheels with U this summer
Skyblue7689: nice response man. we can be twins if you're with me this summer and not ariel, making up for your lack of a twin and the lack of my twin's presnce on our bus
i amSAM i am7104: good deal
i amSAM i am7104: so wats up
Skyblue7689: not too much, how about with you?
i amSAM i am7104: nm
Skyblue7689: sounds rockin'. how has your weekend been so far?
i amSAM i am7104: crazy
i amSAM i am7104: u
Skyblue7689: not crazy. what have you been doing?
i amSAM i am7104: tryin to get my gma n mom a gift for tomaro
Skyblue7689: aww. what have you thought of?
i amSAM i am7104: i was goin crazy then i askd my sister n she already got her sumthin for my mom from the both of us so i didnt have to do anythin
Skyblue7689: that worked out well then. do you know what you got?
i amSAM i am7104: no but prob jewlery
Skyblue7689: thats so sweet. one year i gave my mom a watch but she was allergic to it
Skyblue7689: it was so sad...lol
i amSAM i am7104: haha good job
i amSAM i am7104: so hows the days of ur life treatin u
Skyblue7689: very well actually. they have been providing me with abundant schoolwork/dance classes/usy crap to fulfill me until the summer. may i ask how have yours been treating you?
i amSAM i am7104: i got school stuff too
i amSAM i am7104: i got an ap test on monday
Skyblue7689: ooh good luck. which one are you taking?
i amSAM i am7104: bio
i amSAM i am7104: u takin any
Skyblue7689: nope. my school doesnt give APs to sophomores
Skyblue7689: good luck with yours
i amSAM i am7104: oo
i amSAM i am7104: yea some one askd me about ur school n i totally forgot the name of it n i duno y
i amSAM i am7104: sooo wats the name of ur school
Skyblue7689: who asked?
Skyblue7689: solomon schechter high school of long island
Skyblue7689: the ultimate gathering place for wayward jews
i amSAM i am7104: my friends dad is an architect n hes buildin the a jewish school in north shore
i amSAM i am7104: n he askd about it
Skyblue7689: aha got it. wait, hes building schechter or another school?
i amSAM i am7104: a different school
Skyblue7689: oh snap. i thought we were finally going to be building on that campus instead of holding classes in trailers and an abandoned shoe store
i amSAM i am7104: haha thats ur school
i amSAM i am7104: trailers n a shoe store
Skyblue7689: well theres also a gorgeous gym in the backyard of a decrepit pre-WWII building
i amSAM i am7104: haha thats cool
Skyblue7689: no its not.. people are allergic to mold that grows in the building. but enough about school
Skyblue7689: summer is so soon.. 50 days
Skyblue7689: 7 weeks from tomorrow
i amSAM i am7104: im so terribly sorry to hear that
i amSAM i am7104: but whoa u got a count down goin
Skyblue7689: yeah... lol
i amSAM i am7104: well i only have 25 more days of school
Skyblue7689: same.. then regents and then wheels
Skyblue7689: awesome, no?
i amSAM i am7104: no not awsome
i amSAM i am7104: amazing
i amSAM i am7104: but did u get ur bus info
Skyblue7689: no...did you?
Skyblue7689: if you did dont tell me any details.. por favor
i amSAM i am7104: no but didnt they say we would get it aftr passover
Skyblue7689: yeah, but they never specified how long i guess
i amSAM i am7104: yea
Skyblue7689: im praying ill like come home from school on monday and it will be waiting
i amSAM i am7104: yea
Skyblue7689: or from convention..that would be amazing too
i amSAM i am7104: ur guna be in school while im home chillin like a villan
i amSAM i am7104: on monday
Skyblue7689: will you also be gellin' like a fellon? and waiting eagerly by the mail box after your AP?
i amSAM i am7104: yes of coarse
i amSAM i am7104: then we i find out ur on my bus i scream of happyness
Skyblue7689: and when i finally find out, ill faint with joy
i amSAM i am7104: haha nice
i amSAM i am7104: but dont hurt urself
Skyblue7689: haha don't worry dear, i wont. don't you hurt you vocal cords either
i amSAM i am7104: okok i try not t
i amSAM i am7104: to
Skyblue7689: haha ok. but i understand if it happens because your just that excited that we're going to spend the entire summer together becoming bdd
Skyblue7689: *bff
Skyblue7689: dude cant type - sory
Skyblue7689: on a more random note, your screen name is very clever
i amSAM i am7104: thanks
i amSAM i am7104: i couldnt decied on iamsam or samiam so i put em together
Skyblue7689: its kind of like a palindrome, except its the whole words that are backwards/forwards instead of all the letter
Skyblue7689: s
i amSAM i am7104: yes
Skyblue7689: i still cant get over that you arent going to be at convention next weekend
i amSAM i am7104: im sorry ladies r expectin me
Skyblue7689: we were expecting you up at the luxurious swan lake resort too. what chapter are you from again?
Skyblue7689: because we totally could have been on the same bus if you are from north shore
i amSAM i am7104: im from tbc
i amSAM i am7104: in hauppauge
Skyblue7689: oh, so you wouldnt have been with us anyway. but do have fun at junior prom, you who woos older women
i amSAM i am7104: o i will
i amSAM i am7104: n u have fun at rc
Skyblue7689: thanks love
i amSAM i am7104: anytime girl
Skyblue7689: wow, you are too flippin' awesome for words. have you been talking to other people who are going away with us this summer?
i amSAM i am7104: i just no u ur sis randi n j-rad
Skyblue7689: aha. i talk to a bunch of people and they seem to be pretty cool
i amSAM i am7104: nice
i amSAM i am7104: i was guna email them wen i get the list of the bus thing
Skyblue7689: that could be good too. i only talk to the people who are in our jewster group
i amSAM i am7104: oooo cool
Skyblue7689: ehh..im afraid that im not going to really like them though, but be stuck being friends with them because we knew eachother before
i amSAM i am7104: ur not guna like everyone on ur bus
i amSAM i am7104: but ull have a lot of other friends(like me!!!) dont worry
Skyblue7689: aw, you make me smile. we're so going to be close friends, even if we're not on the same bus
i amSAM i am7104: yea we will
Skyblue7689: so when's your birthday, pal?
i amSAM i am7104: july 21
i amSAM i am7104: so we be on wheels for my bbday!
Skyblue7689: that's my dad's birthday
i amSAM i am7104: no way
Skyblue7689: yes way
i amSAM i am7104: me n ur dad r awsome
Skyblue7689: i get to join the awesome club too, because my birthday is july 6th
Skyblue7689: we will be on wheels for mine too!
i amSAM i am7104: nice
i amSAM i am7104: ur older than me
Skyblue7689: by 15 days. but hey, its all good. you like older women
i amSAM i am7104: haha
i amSAM i am7104: buddy they like me
Skyblue7689: haha yes sorry. she asked you to her prom thingy
i amSAM i am7104: yea thats rit
Skyblue7689: oh snap, i have to go now, but i shall talk to you later. happy mother's day and peace out
This kid is awesome.
http://smithsonianjourneys.org/travel_adventures/spain.asp
|
|
|
[07 May 2005|06:46pm] |
It may sound odd, but the past week or so has been incredibly hectic, but really nice at the same time. Emotional, thought-filled, and giving me oppurtunities to become closer to people I normally don't hang out with.
Over passover break, I watched the movie Into the Arms of Strangers, a documentary about the Kindertransport and the Holocaust, for my Global movie project. It was fairly interesting, and I plan on writing another journal entry about it at another point, perhaps tonight while I'm home alone.
Monday and tuesday were transition periods, getting back into the school routine after a week off. Wednesday was Yom HaShoah, the Holocaust Memorial day on the Jewish Calendar. The Solomon Schechter Choir performed songs of hope and remembrance, as well as some songs written during the Holocaust, at the JCC in West Hempstead. It was a ceremony and service that many survivors attended, and I found it to be particularly moving. One man, who had recently had his 90th birthday (but did not look older than 70), nearly cried when he saw so many children singing Yiddish songs, because during the Holocaust he believed that the Jews would be finished, and that we would all die out. But we are still here. I'll write something more intellectual and meaningful in my later entry regarding the Holocaust. It's difficult for me to write about something so devastating in a casual entry such as this one.
At the choir performance, I was with Elana and Keren as usual, but I also spent time with Lizette and Reyzl. I like Lizette very much, and I feel we bonded. We only have one class together and therefor haven't gotten close, but we had a lot to talk about and I'm sure we will become closer friends through choir and hopefully the school musical next year. I hadn't talked to Reyzl in a long time, even though we went to Usdan together years ago, and it was nice to talk to her and catch up a bit. She's a nice girl, and hopefully we can get closer through choir and the school musical as well.
Thursday at school there was a special ceremony for Yom HaShoah, where a speaker came and spoke of his experiences in the Holocaust. He was very strong, and remembered so many details. What amazed me most about him was that he still believed strongly in God after the entire ordeal of living through the Shoah. The way he saw it was that God wanted him to survive the Holocaust, so he still has such faith. It's interesting how some survivors whose stories I've heard had such opposite feelings towards God and Judaism, losing all faith completely after the Shoah.
***
I had a very interesting conversation with Brooke the other day during Jewish History. Well, actually it was a written conversation because it was via a note, but a conversation nonetheless. We talked about the concept of faithfulness, and the human need for love and devoted relationships. I don't think that official relationships or marriage are necessary, but she does. She sees nothing strange in eternal devotion to one person, but I do. It was interesting seeing how she felt about these things, and I feel that I got to know her so much better because of the things she was saying and the way she was saying them. It was very nice.
On another completely different note, the ladies from our Hebrew class have been hard at work rehearsing our pieces for the Yom Ha'Atzmaut 'Extravaganza' and I must say that both dances look very good. I hope to post some pictures either from rehearsal or from the performance. Probably performance though for effect! I'm so excited to perform.
One of the best parts of doing these dances for Yom Ha'Atzmaut definitely has to be getting to dance during the day. I love dancing so much and I wish I could take ballet class every day. Although I can't, it would be quite amazing. I truly wish I could be a professional ballerina. I've been working on my variation, and it's coming along fairly well. I've been listening to the La Bayadere music non-stop since I got the CD. Oh, how I wish I could just dance forever.
I suppose this will be all for now. I have quite a lot of homework, studying, and speech writing to do.
Much love dears.
|
|
|
[28 Apr 2005|04:35pm] |
News Alert:
I am getting glasses sometime in the near future. I went to the opthamologist this morning and although my eyesight is only slightly off, I still need glasses for hope of repairing my vision, or something like that.
Now I can be fabulous with rhinestoned glasses and what-not.
Thank you and good night.
|
|
|
[25 Apr 2005|11:14am] |
I just had a very strange experience that I feel the need to write down.
My great Aunt (mother's aunt) is 94 years old, and is not in the best condition. She is becoming forgetful and her health is steadily deteriorating. She asked my mother and grandparents to begin looking into assisted living facilities for her to move into. She says she can't live alone much longer - she forgets to lock her apartment sometimes, and cannot remember whether she turned off appliances. There have been many times when we have all been visiting in my grandparents' apartment and my mother of father has had to go back to her apartment with her to make sure she closed and locked the door. It's sad, but she realizes she needs help and was the one to suggest an assisted living place.
We were planning on going with her to several places on Long Island this week, because my mother, sister, and I all have off from work and school, and she requested to be closer to us. We had an appointment to go to a place in Queens with her, but she called the house roughly twenty minutes ago saying she did not want to see the place in Queens. I did not hear the exact conversation my mother had with her, but my mother is now calling a place in Commack and explaining what is happening to someone who is working there.
She says that my Aunt is delusional, and she can't comprehend what is necessary in order to move into an assisted living facility. She says she can barely move anymore, and that she won't be able to pack up her belongings in her apartment, and she refuses to transfer money out of bank accounts so that the government won't take all of it.
This may not seem like such a big deal, but I'm so upset. My great aunt is not healthy, and she seems to be tired of living. Maybe it is because she never married or had any children, or maybe it is because she has seen all but one of her siblings die. I think she was among the oldest of her eight other siblings, but I'm not sure. I do know though, that siblings who were younger than her died and she thinks she should have gone first. It is so sad though, firstly to think that she has always been a part of my life, but also to think that I was never close with her, and I really don't know anything about her. I don't know about my Aunt's childhood, her past, her family history - really nothing. She just loves me unconditionally, and I hate that now it is too late to get close to her, because she will think it is because she is going to die soon or that I want inheritance money.
My mother is arguing with the person from Gurwin about money, and how she doesn't want inheritance money from our aunt, but she doesn't want all of it to be taken by the government. Everything is so contradictory. It's not about money, but it completely is. It's supposed to make my aunt happier, but it's making her very upset.
I can't stand seeing my family like this - my mother's side is so worried about her but they don't have the patience to handle her. My mother just said, "She's being so difficult about this. It's coming down to me just driving her over to a place and me saying, 'Here, this is where you're staying'". That's horrible.
So the strange experience mentioned in the opening line of this entry is that I went on my AIM to find somebody to talk to about my feelings - anybody. But of the sixty-seven people online, I couldn't IM any of them comfortably to talk. Granted most had their away messages up, but that doesn't matter because most people just sit there and when they see an IM they come back. I could talk to none of those people though. Technology puts communications with virtually anyone at your fingertips. Everyone was there, but nobody was really there. In a virtual world where I was connected to the entire world, I was alone.
It makes one wonder.
<3 Shira
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2005|10:43am] |
I finished reading Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities on monday. It was a really good book - an excellent plot and of course well-written. I don't know how many people who read this journal are planning to read the novel, or have read it, but there was something in the novel that bothered me, so kindly respond to let me know if I can write about it without ruining the book for people.
On another note, yesterday was the last day of school for the seniors. After Passover, they take APs and then go to Israel. It will be very sad when they aren't there at school anymore. This years seniors were really nice, and I am particularly close with a small group of them, namely the USYers. But we will all see eachother for the rest of the year, and keep in touch next year via e-mails and phone calls.
It is so strange to think that in two short years, that will be me, and my entire grade at school. The real world and adut life are quickly approaching. The comforts of childhood are soon to be gone, so I hope to take advantage as much as I can.
♥♥♥
Tomorrow night is first seder! Passover is a wonderful holiday...I love it. This year both seders are at my house, so I'm looking forward to having a lot of family and friends over between the two nights. I hope everyone has an amazing Shabbat and first two days of passover!
♥ Shira
|
|
|
[13 Apr 2005|06:10pm] |
Hey faithful readers (whose total number of members included in that group is unknown to me).
The weather lately has been gorgeous. It's cold, but not freezing. Kind of chilly, and almost reminiscent of Camp Ramah in the afternoons on a cold day. I was walking to my Spanish class today, and I missed encampment a lot. I kept thinking of all the things that happened there, and how much fun it was, even though it was only for nine days. USY is sort of surreal because it isn't real life. It is like a bubble sort of, with all of the people inside, especially encampment because we aren't supposed to have cell phones or any other sort of outside communication. But that is what makes it so good. It is real, but it isn't at the same time.
I used to be a completely different person in school and in USY, but now those two people have merged and, in my opinion, become one better person. I'm more outgoing now, and generally a nicer person. I feel bad when I hear people saying "Lashon Hara" about others, and I'm sure enough of myself to say something and stop it. From this newfound strength, I feel that I have learned to be a true friend, and how to recognize that quality in other people.
I've also become more religious and suddenly have this fiery urge to go to Israel (I've never been before in my life). I yearn to see the 'Holy Land' - to daven at the Kotel, see the Ir Ha'atikah. I truly hope that I can go next year.
But mostly, I feel completely unconnected to my past self. I think about certain things that have happened this year, and think of how I would have reacted a year ago. For example, not being invited to certain birthday parties. Last year I would have been completely crushed and probably would have cried for hours and been depressed for days. In reality, I was OK with it, because I realized that the people weren't my true friends - why keep on pushing for a friend who doesn't want to be friends with me? It's made me happier, and more at peace with myself and my situation.
It feels very empowering to be so apart from past years, to know that I've become a stronger and better person. But somethings never change, and there are always links to the worse times.
***
Last year I had particularly strong feelings for a certain person, who I would rather not advertise their identity to the general public. It was sort of exhilarating - I would see him and my breath would almost catch in my throat, and I would get a nervous and fluttery feeling in my chest. Nothing ever happened with him, which was completely alright. I suppose I had gotten over it, but recent events have lead me back down that figurative path. It's sort of funny how things have changed and went back to the same way they had been.
I don't know what to do about those feelings, but time will tell. Advice is welcome though =)
So I hope you've enjoyed this update. Kindly comment?
<3 Shira~*
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
shiralicious's journal